How to Treat Your Bridesmaids Right

The better experience the bridesmaids have, the better everyone will get along for the big day, creating wonderful memories you’ll look back on fondly for years to come.

Choosing a bridal party and planning your big day with your favorite ladies is one of the most fun aspects of planning a wedding for many brides. While most brides have the best intentions for their girls, it's easy to put yourself or the vision for the wedding first and offend your wedding party. Making a conscious effort to treat your bridesmaids right ensures they have a good experience standing up at your wedding.

Introduce Your Bridesmaids Early in The Process

Spending a lot of time planning a wedding with people you don't know can be awkward. Help your bridesmaids get to know each other shortly after you've chosen your wedding party. If everyone lives close by, organize a low-key social gathering such as a dinner date or drink. Bridesmaids will appreciate putting faces to names and being able to communicate directly with each other to discuss logistics and preferences.

Give Them A Schedule With Important Deadlines and Dates Outlined Clearly

Shortly after choosing your bridal party, create a schedule with as many important deadlines and dates as possible, such as purchasing dresses, having a bachelorette party, and getting manicures for the wedding. Ideally, keep the schedule online, such as through Google or Outlook.

Bridesmaids will be able to access the schedule from anywhere with ease, and you'll be able to make changes as needed to keep everyone on the same page. Highlight important dates and send reminders before group events, so there are no surprises.

Provide Some Direction 

Telling bridesmaids to get whatever dresses they want or plan any type of bachelorette party they like, seems to be free but may be overwhelming. Without a little direction, it's tough to know where to start. Early in the process, consider sharing an online vision board, narrowing down a handful of choices, and then letting them make the final decision, or simply offering tips as needed, so they can be in control while making decisions that fit with the aesthetic and budget for the wedding.

Choose Bridesmaid Dresses Thoughtfully

There's nothing worse than being part of a wedding or other special event and having to wear a dress that you hate or can't afford. Set a realistic budget for the bridesmaid dresses that work for your girls and stick to it. Involve them in the selection process right from the beginning. Send a few ideas for dresses you like and get their input or create a group Pinterest board to gather inspiration. If your girls have significantly different tastes, consider allowing the wedding party to choose their own dresses within a single color palette. A multi-way dress that girls can tie or style in different ways is also a great option.

Be Respectful of Their Budgets

Agreeing to be in a bridal party should not mean automatically agreeing to spend a ton of money. There is a lot of pressure in the modern wedding industry to spend on everything from lunch before dressing fittings to shower gifts to bachelorette weekend trips. Don't give in to this pressure. You can have a great wedding without spending a lot on it. Choose your priorities carefully, save money wherever it makes sense to do so, and don't ask your bridal party to spend money beyond their means.

Be Respectful of Their Schedules

As a bride, your wedding day and the commitments that come with it will be a top priority during the entire wedding planning process. Your wedding party doesn't necessarily feel the same way. Take care to spread out events, so bridesmaids don't get stuck with commitments every single weekend. While there is nothing wrong with an occasional spontaneous event, such as a quick first look at dresses or pedicures before the bachelorette party, don't get offended when not everyone jumps at the chance. Your bridesmaids have busy lives and can't always drop everything they're doing for you. They still love you and want to be part of your big day.

Accept Their Help But Don't Demand It

Planning a wedding can get overwhelming, even for brides who have been dreaming about the big day for years. Getting a little help along the way is much appreciated. However, doesn’t demand that bridal party members help out with everything. Demanding help makes being in a wedding quickly feel like a chore and imposes on people's schedules. With that being said, when bridal party members offer to help, accept it gladly but always ask if it's not too much burden on their schedule to extend help. 

Say, "Thank You"

This may sound like a no-brainer, but a thank you goes a long way. Your bridesmaid(s) will (hopefully) help your day run smoothly, and will be there in years to come to laugh about anything that didn’t go quite to plan. So a token gift is a lovely gesture. Jewelry for them to wear on the day is one idea, but there are plenty of others, so be creative!