Eight Things to Remember at The Beginning of A Relationship

When you start dating someone new, it's all smiles, butterflies in your stomach, sun shining, and birds chirping. Those first few months are incredible, but they also create a foundation and set habits for the future. It's important to pay attention to the type of bond you’re building.

In this blog post, you'll find a list of eight things to remember at the beginning of the relationship that will help you create a healthy and lasting relationship.

The beginning of a relationship is a beautiful time. You smile at every good morning text, get excited about every date, and count down the minutes until the next time you see your special someone. Your stomach is constantly filled with butterflies, and life is grand.

Relationships bring a unique kind of happiness into your life. There's so much potential, the promise of love and a future together, but it's important to remember that relationships are also complex. Relationships consist of two imperfect people blending their lives together, and while that's beautiful, it's also challenging. If you want a strong and lasting relationship, here are a few things you could remember in the beginning.

1. The first few months of the relationship are crucial.

During this time you get to know each other's past and hopes for the future. You introduce each other to the people in your life. You might even go on a small trip together. And while these are all important components of a relationship, there's another reason the first six months intentionally or not, set habits in the relationship.

It's important for your happiness, and the strength of the relationship, that these habits are something you're willing to do for the foreseeable future. For instance, you might fall into a pattern where one of you cooks and the other goes grocery shopping. Or perhaps you always drive and your significant other does laundry. While it's good to have balance in the relationship, the problem comes when you are stuck in a habit you never intended to create.

Let's say you volunteered to do the shopping once since they said they would cook, but you thought you'd switch off sometimes. You didn't say anything, and now, six months later, it's routine. It can be really difficult and uncomfortable to try to break habits several months in, which is why you should pay attention to the habits you're creating in the beginning.

2. If you don't like the balance you've stuck with your partner, speak up. Talk kindly, but be honest about your feelings.

You should never allow yourself to be stuck in a position you're not happy about. And in circumstances like these, it's much easier to stop the habit as it forms than to change it later.

3. Don't lose yourself.

The first few months together are filled with excitement, late-night phone calls, and lots of firsts. The sun rises and sets with them, and they rarely leave your mind. It's normal to be swept up in a new romance, especially if things are going well, but it's important that you don't become so obsessed with your new partner that you lose your own sense of self. Wanting to spend as much time together as possible is common in a blossoming romance, but make sure you schedule time with your friends too. So many friendships fall apart when someone gets into a new relationship because the friendship is no longer a priority. Don't let your friendship be among them. Call up your bestie and set a brunch date, go shopping, or catch a movie together. 

4. Don't slack off due to a lack of focus or care. 

You should also continue to pursue your own passions and don't start skipping your classes just because you're in a career that is yours, and you likely have goals for your future that depend on your hard work.

5. Another common mistake people make at the beginning of relationships is feeling like they can't disagree with their new partner.

You don't have to like everything your partner likes. If you're dating someone that's really into sports, and you don't like sports it's okay to say that. Yes, you can go to a game or two to show your support and share in his/her interests, but you don't have to become obsessed with it. And you should definitely introduce your partner to some of your interests too. It's all about finding balance. Your partner and their passions and dreams are important, but so are you and yours. Remember that, and never lose your identity for anyone.

6. Don't Ignore Red Flags

Too often, when people get into a relationship, they make excuses for the person they're dating. If you like someone, really like them, it's easy to ignore the red flags. You tell yourself you misunderstood, you're overreacting, it's not that bad. Then you find yourself lying to your friends or neglecting to tell them information altogether. You build your partner up so much in your mind, that you don't look at the truth that's right in front of your face. You don't want the relationship to end, so you create a false reality and stay inside that bubble for as long as you can. 

7. Be Your (Best) Self

Real affection is when someone is "into you for you". It comes from a place of acceptance, not a place of deception where a woman has been duped by an act you've put on.

Gravitate toward someone who celebrates and encourages the authentic you, not the ones who press you to change for them rather than for yourself.

8. Be Vulnerable

Being vulnerable is the life source of your relationship happiness. It’s also scary. In order to be vulnerable, you have to

• consider yourself worthy of love,
• forgive yourself for any imperfections, and
• overcome your fear of rejection by opening up those imperfections to another human.

Your partner can’t truly know who you are until you accomplish those three things – and it’s a process. Practicing vulnerability early on in relationships will build security and resilience for future obstacles together. You will have to be honest with yourself and honest with them. You will have to face parts of yourself that you really didn’t to deal with and have been avoiding for quite some time. It requires strength to then uncover those dark sides of yourself and present them to a person you like, and maybe love.

• What if they run away?
• What if they reject you?
• What if it’s a deal-breaker?

I can’t guarantee it will go smoothly every time. 

But I can say this for sure: you are not a deal-breaker.

You will always be worthy of love, and there are plenty of people out there who would feel honored to be with you. But you can’t know who those special people are until you share yourself with them. It takes trial and error and practice but it’s worth it.