The Anxiety of Holiday Gift Giving

The holiday season is supposed to be a time of joy, merriment, and showing appreciation for friends and family with the exchange of gifts. For many people, the gift-giving part of the holiday celebration is stressful and anxiety-producing for a number of reasons. Consider some of the pitfalls involved in this holiday tradition.

The holiday season is known for many things, not the least of which is the pervasive practice of giving and receiving gifts. On the surface, it's hard to imagine that anything could be wrong with the gift exchange process. After all, you're expressing your love or appreciation to those who are near and dear to you. You wouldn't waste time or money on the purchase and offering of a gift to an enemy.

Therefore, when you offer or accept a present, it would seem to make sense that everyone involved finds the experience pleasant. In reality, many people find the commercialism of the holidays to be stressful and anxiety-provoking. From deciding to hopping from one souvenir and gift shop to another. 

What are some of the leading roadblocks when it comes to taking joy in the giving or receiving of gifts) the gift-giving process.

Where do you draw the line?

Are family gifts limited to just your immediate family or do you include cousins, in-laws, and other assorted relatives who may cross your path at various times in your life?

What if you don't give a gift to a relative only to be surprised when they offer up a beautifully wrapped package to you at the family gathering?

Money is always a criterion when it comes to holiday spending.

How do you decide who gets the more expensive gift and who gets a simple token of appreciation?

Even if you want to spend more, where do you choose to draw the line based on the realities of your budget and financial situation?

Today's world allows many people the luxury of buying what they want when they want it. Therefore, it can be nearly impossible to give a gift that is both something the recipient desires and doesn't duplicate something they already own. If your holiday gift list is extensive, the struggle to find unique, desirable gifts for so many people can be a source of extreme anxiety.

The spirit of holiday giving has extended to the workplace. That can be a considerable problem in larger offices where the sheer number of people makes individual gifts unrealistic. It can also produce uncomfortable feelings when deciding how to decode the office hierarchy.

Should you give your boss a gift, or is that considered to be kissing up to the boss?

Should you expect a gift from your boss, or, is that reeking of favoritism?

Should you give a gift to your co-workers in adjoining cubicles or just offer up a fruit basket to be shared by everyone on the entire floor?

What about the co-workers you do not like?

Are you still obligated to participate in a gift exchange?

Too many so-called gift items merely fall under the category of clutter for the recipient. Unless you're interested in collectibles, you probably don't want another cat figurine or commemorative plate to take up space in your home.

Rather than worrying obsessively over choosing the right gift, we need to accept that we only have so much control over how other people experience and respond to our gifts. We need to find comfort in our own good intentions, even when they are twisted and twirled by others into something unfair and unrecognizable.

And it’s good to remember that even if we fall short, the hit to our public image is usually smaller and shorter-lived than we imagine. And if it doesn't die quickly, we can scale down our relationships with such superficial and materialistic people (or the space we rent them in our heads), and scale up our relationships with people that get what the holidays are really about.